Trust the voice within

2010-04-27T17:19:00.003+08:00

This is so fucked up. I swear to god that i wish i wasnt even born here.
Everybody's wrong. Nobody can correct both of you.
Everythings about how you two feel. Have you two ever thought about how others feel?
fuck it man, seriously.

Fucked up family.
Same character in both.
Always think that they are right.
I dont fucking care who read this.
This is my blog.
I can possibly say anything i want.
I dont have to apologise to anyone for saying all this shit.
Because i dont FUCKING CARE!

f off.

2010-03-14T22:09:00.005+08:00

Those times were perfect.

I miss him badly already.

Wish he didnt have to book in.

I look forward to every weekends now.

Its the only days that i could see him..

But when i'm with him, time just pass by so quickly.):

I'm starting work tomorrow.

Nervous, but i guess it wont be too hard too.

Normally he'll be there to send me to work.

But, now... I have to get use to it.

WEEKENDS,WEEEEEEKKKKENDDDDDSSSSS~

Time WILL pass by quickly, yaaaaa?? yaaaaa????(:

Baby's calling soon. Hopefully, i guess.

takecare. Bye.

2010-03-04T00:38:00.004+08:00

I miss you syg.):

He injured his hips again..

I dont know how bad it was this time,

i only know he has MC now till the 12th.

I'm so worried.

I'm suppose to be talking to him now..

He promised he'll talk to me at 12am.. but.

Nvm. ):

I miss home..

2010-02-28T00:54:00.002+08:00

Happy 1year anniversary.. i love you.

i will be fine alone, dont worry.
I miss you..so badly..

2010-02-26T11:43:00.002+08:00

i'm leaving for the airport now.

Takecare everyone..

Baby, i love you.

Ciao.

2010-02-25T16:56:00.002+08:00

i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. i misssss youuuuuu babyyyyyy.):

I will get use to this

2010-02-23T20:06:00.005+08:00

Tomorrow is the last day..
Before baby goes into army..
And also 2more days before i go to hongkong..
I dont know what will happen to me, when he's in there.
But, i know i will be fine, i hope.

I will be in hongkong for 9days.
26th to 6th of march.
One day after baby's in, i'm leaving..
Alone.
I've never taken a plane before.
okay, i did, but it was when i was reallyyyyy young.
I dont even rmb how the feelings like.
Plus, i'm going alone this time.
Mummy's going send me to the airport..
But, how i wish baby would be there too.)':

I, miss my bestfriend too.
I felt like its better that im not knowing what you're up to lately.
Then, i wouldnt get more dissapointed in you....

even if i know that i have know rights to care.
Maybe its again, that i cared too much..
And it would better that i backed off...
Then,saying things that you wouldnt listen...
you're my best friend..
But maybe i'm not that good to let you listen to me..
Not that, i want you to listen to everything i say..
But just things that you know after you do it,

something might happen...
Things that you wont know, things that i always worry about for you..
You're precious... You know that..
I love you, but if only you would listen...
we, wont be like this now...
I miss the you that wasnt always about guys..
):

Baby, i love you..
I will be fine when you're in..
Though, i guess i wouldnt have anyone to turn to now..
But.. i will be fine..

Bye..

An affair.

2010-02-02T00:26:00.002+08:00

Today was a wonderful day.
Untill i saw them again..
He's my father.. And that woman who broke our family.
I sweared today, that i'll do something to her one day.
When, i go crazy... that one day will come soon..
And i will get into trouble again..
Is it worth it? To me now, it is..
Just so i can make Her life miserable too..
Let Her freaking kid know that her mum's a bitch..

Like i've said, today was a wonderful day.
Tomorrow will be a gym day..
Wednesday will be a "remembering about childhood days" day with Christian!
Thursday - SUN TANNING! Whoooooohoooooo~
Friday, Graduation..
Sat, sun, shopping for new year clothes! Hehe.
This week will be a wonderful week(:

I should go to bed now.
My monster just msged me..(:
I should go..

Ps. Come on, swear to god, that you've never talked about us.
Stop acting like the victim here, cuz you're not.
I know what kind of Person you are.
or maybe......... i dont.......
Maybe....
You've just been putting a mask on since the day we've met..
How saddd, Ha

Alright.
Nights, sweeeeeeeet dreaaaaaaammmsss.

Life,

2010-01-29T15:47:00.003+08:00

Fishing tonight..
Going out to get the fishing stuffs later..

I've been straightening my hair everyday.
Its dying soon, poor hair. Tsk.

*there's something going wrong..
Did you realise it?
Its always the stupidest things..
what if.. we..... no!!! nvm....

would come back soon.
ciao.

A battlefield

2010-01-29T13:20:00.002+08:00

Everytime i wanna blog.. i would stare at the screen..thinking, on what to say..
For a very longggg time..

I'm at home now.. And i really dont know what to say here..
I'm looking at pictures of us 3..
Its sad how things change so fast and how promises could just fade away..
I always say i treasure that friendship with her so much..
Suprisingly, i could just really say that i do not want the friendship anymore.
I'm tired of always being the one initiating.
When the other one, always say something and wait for me to step forward first.
I'm tired of always being the one in the wrong,
when i'm not; just to save our friendship.
You're not a queen. Not everyone has to serve you.
Dont wait and sit there and expect things to happen, babe.
Admit that you're wrong too. Dont always put the blame on me.
I'm not the one who didnt not contact you, you too. Think about yourself.
Like you've always said, it takes 2 hands to clap..
Friends arent suppose to be like that.
I didnt, because i'm sick and tired of it.

That's why, i've given up,long time ago.
As much as i've missed you so much, i dont want to act and say we are friends.
You dont want to be friends too, so show it.
Dont always hide behind that mask.

Yes, You've made a really big impact on me.
Because you're the one that i swear to god that i would do anything for.

But, no more.
I dont want it anymore.

Thanks for the memories for the 2 years. You've made me realise that we have to choose friends really wisely. Thankyouverymuch.

You'll probably say something somewhere if you know that im talking about you. And i wont be able to fight back because i wont be able to win the words that you use. But whatever. You can say what you want. To me, it will just make no sense anymore. Because i dont care. (:

peace.

Everything then

2010-01-20T17:03:00.002+08:00

Reading back all the posts that i've blogged..
How stupid and navie was i?
Believing in that particular girl friendship that has been so precious to you
and thinking that something that will happen between you and that so called prince charming then?
The truths all came out.
And it just turns out to be just a show.
Ha, how entertaining.
That friendship that i used to care, cry, get hurt from, is none of my bussiness anymore.
I dont care now, i just dont care. I've just given up on it.
Roll your eyes and say whatever you want.
(:

I really miss my childhood times.
I miss Christian, Timothy, Claire, Ethan..

Now, i just wish to get out of the house now.
NOW, like NOW.
so bye.

NO

2009-12-30T17:03:00.001+08:00

i'll pray.. i'll pray real hard. I dont want it to be so soon..
I know it will still happen one day.. But.. Just.. Not now.
):

Lets go crazy like how we use to

2009-12-18T00:19:00.002+08:00

Okay, i've changed my skin.
But lost everything. All my links.
Its late, so i guess i'll edit next time.
People, please leave me your links through my comments.
Thankyou!(:

To Baby, I'm so fortunate to have you by my side.
Thankyou for you and thankyou for everything you've done for me.
I love you.

I'm gonna eat my meds and go to sleep now.
If anyone's even reading.. takecare and stay happy.

I'll come back to update soon i guess.
Bye.

2009-11-24T19:39:00.004+08:00

School Tomorow... polo tee with chef pants.
Gosh, how long have i not worn that?
I'm gonna feel all weird wearing that all again.
Like... the first day of school.. ..................................

We have to hand up the final project tomorrow.
And i'm so screwed cuz i've not even started it yet.
God bless me. HA

Anyway, i'm staying at pioneer now. At my sister's house.
Life's not bad here. But, still cant face the fact that the house at taman jurong,
The house i've lived in for 10years is not ours anymore..
Ok, whatever, i dont wanna get all emotional again.(:

I know this song has been out for quite long..

I'm in love with this song..

oh yeah, why am here?
Cuz i'm sick.
I'm coughing like i'm gonna cough to death.

I'm sick, i should be resting.
But why am i here?

Cuz i need to do the project!
Argh. k, bye.

Friendnimies

2009-10-19T04:49:00.002+08:00

Sunday, i had to work too. No off day for me for the whole week..
Dont ask me why. But i had fun today. Work was fun..i made ginger bread man!
(: Chef d was funny. After work,
I got a suprise from TASHA, YUSRI, DONNA & TERRANCE with bby too.
Hehe. Ended work at 2am, went to hans to have supper. Laughed till my tummy hurt.
I missed them Alot. Thankyou so much for coming al the way there even when you guys are so tired.(: I just reached home not long ago. I shall go bath now.
My sunday wasnt a bad day after all.

oh ya! I saw Lydia at queensway today and i got a very big HUG. Hehehe.
I missed her too.
I miss school..

k, i'll go shower now.
Bye!

Take everything away

2009-10-15T02:13:00.003+08:00

I've changed. I'm not the same anymore.
I'm no longer the bubbly Cecilia. You can hardly hear me laugh now.
Its been a long time since i've laughed real loud like how i use too.
Maybe, its because of attachment. Needing to be serious everyday.
And needing to be strong and to not cry when a chef scolds you.
I was like that but i'm numb now. Because i'm much stronger and can take criticism much better. Standing out for myself at the right time and making clear, explaining confidently.
Taking responsibility. And not balme anyone else for your own mistake. I'm gaining so much now. Learning so much..But i'm losing the bubbly side of me.
But i guess it'll just be for the time being. When school starts next year, i hope i'll be back to normal. We'll see..

I miss school..
I miss us 3 together..

But things have changed now..
No one's making an effort to do anything about our friendship.
I've done nothing too. Who else could i blame?

I wont continue..
I'm gonna shower and sleep now.
Bye.

Lovely Song

2009-10-12T00:32:00.000+08:00

YouTube - Backstreet Boys - Helpless When She Smiles [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

Passion, Goal.

2009-10-11T01:28:00.003+08:00

Was thinking about what Robert said..

He asked me to go over board.. if i want to continue with this.

Go somewhere i like and look for a job there. Learn from him.

Travel round the world learn new things and get loads of experience.

And loads more. Robert, is my new floor manager.

He's from spain. Cute, BUT he's gay.

He loves woman, but. Loves guys more because he gets

more excited when having sex with guys.

Wicked. But its true. Thats what he said. Haha.

No suprise, my knee still freaking hurt.
Its getting worst. I cant even stand straight for long now.
Every single time i bend down, i'll hurt.
And i feel that its more swollen now..
I've been having cough this 2days.
Think i got it from Chef D..

Tomorrow's sunday!!
:D

k, done, bye!

Bamm, you're gone.

2009-10-03T02:26:00.003+08:00

Come on, tell me he's hot too. I'll show you a big wide GRIN:D

Work: I'm training a intern now. It's weird because i'm an intern too.
But i have to teach her everything. Even the very basics.
She's from culinary and she doesnt know a single thing about pastry...
Means, i have to teach her things like lining tarts, plating, setting up and many more.
I kinda know how Chefs at my place feels now when you're so busy that you cant even waste a mintue, someone keeps on asking you where is this, how you do this again, is this suppose to be here...blah blah blah. You'll somehow get irritated because you have to do servicing, your mise en place and answer all sorts of question at the same time. But still i answer her nicely.. because i know she feels. She was exactly like me when i came in 3months ago. Duh. But if the other chefs, i doubt they will. Because they wasnt to me. They got pissed with me. Haha. And, the weirdest thing is, she's older then me. 22years old. She is somehow my partner now. If she continues here for a long period of time, she'll be managing the whole kitchen with me. Weeee heee. Lets hope she stays for long. We have alot of common. She's a really nice girl.(:

after this month, 2more month to go...
this month, we're having spanish platters...
Which means, more badge of churos. Ahhhhh.

Holloweens coming...
The holloween desserts are out. Damn cool.
We're all suppose to dress up.
I cant wait larh...

hmmm, last year's holloween...
do anyone remember what did you do?
....i do......very clearly....
okay, i shall stop thinking.

(:
Alright..I better go sleep now.
Work work work tomorrow.
ehhemm, the guy on the photo above hot righhhhtttt.
Alah, NAAAAAJIBBBBBB DON'T JEALOUS LARH.
Aku cinta padamu. Hehe.

NIGHTS!
ps: someone, anyone, can exchange your knees with mine, PLEASEEEEE?

Chlidhood

2009-09-30T02:50:00.000+08:00

I'm still in love with Backstreet boys, god their songs are lovely.(:

Happy Birthday to Me

2009-09-27T20:58:00.004+08:00

The only year i've not planned before hand about how i'm gonna celebrate my birthday..

Thought that today would be just me and baby spending the whole day together because Tasha couldnt make it today as she couldnt take off because of F1.

I didnt expect that i would actually feel that its my birthday today

I thought it would just be like any other day..

But no.

1st, i got a very big transparent balloon filled with small heart shaped balloons in it from baby when he came over...(:

Just that, i was really happy then.

Went to Sim lim square to collect free gifts for the netbook my dad just bought me.

Next, headed to great world city..

Shopped around, couldnt decide what to eat....

Wanted TCC but i walked pass Fish and Co, felt like eating there BUT b said : No, lets go TCC.

Wondered why he insist on going there but yeah i just said okay.

When we reached TCC found a place to sit.......

Once i sit down...............

I saw one kuku running in...

Then came the other two.....

SIAH ZHEN QUAN

ANDY LIM &

JUNKO TAN!!!!

I totally freaked out. Shocked sunt speechless.

I THOUGHT 3 OF THEM FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY!

Like i've said to them just now,

I've never in my life think that i'll ever have a suprise like that.

Damn, its good that i do not have a weak heart.

To others maybe its just a small thing.

But to me, its very special.

Thankyou Quan for planning..

Thankyou B for keeping it from me, although you lied to me.

Thankyou Junko and Andy Alot Alot too.

THANKS A MILLION FOR EVERYTHING.

i love you guys very much.

I enjoyed my day very much today.

Tasha, see you next sunday!

I'll be back to upload photos later.

Happy birthday to me.

Ciao.

Life, Troubles, Ups and downs

2009-09-21T18:38:00.002+08:00

I wanna get out and have a run today
I'm gonna freaking breakdown soon

I want to run
I need to breathe

I need my knees to be freaking healed.
SOON.

Here we go go go go go again

2009-09-20T02:45:00.004+08:00

My blog's dead.............

I've been train to run the whole kitchen myself now.

I have to do all the platings like example, the one above, myself.

Every single order.

I have to be fast, feel the rush, and at the same time plate accurately.

Cecilia, Focus.

No one can help you but yourself now.

Chef Derrick cant always help you.

Soon, they'll be handling the whole kitchen to you....

Help yourself. NO one will be there.

I've never been so stressed in my life.

But i have no choice. I have to stay cool.

I miss school i really do. But, i have to learn.

And i'm gald i'm there and not stuck in school, learning nothing.

I'm repeating Demi Lovato's Here we go again, over and over again.

Its stuck in my playlist.

Anyway,

Today's sunday......

I'm celebrating my birthday one week earlier with my family later.

Next sunday, will be my birthday.

I'm not excited about it at all.

The only thing is that i can smoke legally.

Nothing else.....

My phone is dying. Have to buy a new one soon.

Just reached home not long ago, gonna bath now.

I hope i can meet Tasha later..

Someone's waiting for me to say this...

I LOVE YOU sayang. Haha.

bye.

One step at a time

2009-08-30T20:07:00.001+08:00

Finally, i've got time to use the com.
Work's been really busy, but i'm happy.
Weeeeheeee.
I just highlighted my hair today.(:
And i'm at my sister's house now.

Happy 6months 2days to my sayang.
I love you!

k, i'm gonna have my dinner now.
Bye.

Creativity, Speed, Perfection

2009-08-16T19:36:00.000+08:00

Work's been fine.. Bad days are over and i'm starting to enjoy going to work again.
I miss Tasha.. Havent seen her for this month. Hope she's doing fine.
After we get our pay for this month we'll go buy that slipper together okay?
And if can, we go that bar that we went last month again k?
Team Kudos! Hehehehehe.

I'm at my sister's house now.
waiting for my sister and her husband to come home with our dinner.
Then later, i'll be going to meet my pantat at his workplace.
(:

okay, i'm gonna go play with my nephew now.
Byebye.

Refresh my memories

2009-07-17T01:14:00.007+08:00

People, I'm really tired.

I miss school badly.

Updates

I learn something new everyday,

do tons of stuffs everyday too.

The freaking log book has so damn little space for me to write everything down LARH.

okay, today i plated lots of orders alone.

They just left me there.

Chef Derrick to Chef Kryan: "She can do it, i believe in her."

Bloody hell. Nvm, at least i did make it.

Plated and explained Amadei chili chocolate to the customer for the first time today.

Scary but really fun.

Now, i can plate and explain 6 out of 10? Around there.(:

Everyone! Come to 2am Dessertbar. Try out our desserts!

Their really nice. Its at:

21A Lorong Liput Holland Village.

Walking distance from cold storage./

Directly opposite A. Shah's Carpet.

Do come visit ya.

I'm gonna sleep now.

Nights people.

-Those short memories that make me smile

Part of the list

2009-07-11T14:00:00.002+08:00

Lovely

4th day

2009-07-04T12:30:00.003+08:00

Today is gonna be the 4th day of my attachment at the dessert bar.
Its the weekend&its gonna be really crazy today; like ytd.
For only 3days, i've learned how to plate 2 of their desserts.(:
Its really fun. Today, i'll be practicing chocolate tart's plating.
I'll be learing servicing too. And soon i have to serve customers myself and explain the dessert that they've ordered. Crazy. Haha. I've learned alot of new stuffs. Everyday i get to plate one the desserts there and try it. Chef Janice will make one of her new creations for me too. I'm really enjoying myself.(:

Tomorrow will be my off day.
Will be going to the zoo with my Elder Sister's family.
My brother in law got free tickets.(:
Najib will be going too.
I cant wait for tomorrow.
But I'll miss working at the bar.

I'm going off now.
I have homework to do.
-What is panna cotta?
-What is blood orange?

bye.

2009-06-26T23:15:00.002+08:00

I Love You.

That's why i love you.

2009-06-24T20:49:00.009+08:00

I wasted my whole day today.
There was suppose to be a talk between them. But in the end, its pushed to tmr.

Damn it, i was suppose to go out.
....................................

Anyway,

Yesterday, i sat at the park with Najib.
It was really nice to talk.
I love you. Very much.
<3

oh yeah..
That day, at Augustine's chalet..
It was really nice spending time with them again.
But its only this time's gathering..
Me and * didnt talk.
Maybe it was me who was avoiding.
I really wish that we'll be friends again..
I guess i blew it.
Still, it was fun spending time with them again.
Fun seeing him doing funny actions again..
You, good luck for your attachment.(:

Tomorrow!!!
I will be meeting Tasha to touch up her tattoo at queensway!:D
Then..(!!!!!) I will be meeting JUNKO AND ANDY AT ZHENQUAN'S HOUSE!!!!!
OMG. like finally.
I cant wait. i cant wait. i cant wait. i cant wait.................
Hehehehehehe.
i miss Tasha.

I'm gonna call Najib now.
Ciao.

Peace

2009-06-17T19:24:00.006+08:00

Heyho. I'm home.
Chalet's tomorrow! And im excited.(:

--------------
Its official..
Everything's really gonna change now..
I cant stop crying everytime i think of it..
soon, my family would be really not complete anymore..
I didnt thought it would be so soon..
I didnt thought he would have the guts to really ask for it.
Can anyone tell me what would you do when your parents divorce?
Nobody still wants him except for me..
I dont want to stay with him..
But i dont want to leave him alone too..

I miss playing carom as a family when we were still staying at jurong west..
I miss having pillow fights with him..
I miss telling the whole world how handsome my dad is..
I miss...
Everything..
Everything about my dad..
But he doesnt care anymore..
All he cares is himself and money..
M-O-N-E-Y.

Nah, Forget it.
I'll enjoy myself at the chalet..
Though i know i'll miss syg badly.
But still, i'll enjoy myself.(:
Loves to all.
Z.A.K, i'll meet up with you guys soon ya.
I'll be back on the 20th.
Heeeee, Ciao.

The Twilight saga New moon

2009-06-10T22:50:00.003+08:00

People! I soooo wanna watch this! Ahhhh.

But i think its only gonna be out during november.. =attachment.): Everyone's attachment will be for 24weeks. But mine, will be longer. Because i'm starting on the 1st of july. And ending on the 30th of December. Chef Janice needs me to work till then. She gave me 2 choices to choose actually.. Whether i want to start at the end of july or 1st of july. But told her i'll start on the 1st of july. I'll get paid for the extra 1month of course.(: Hehe. I'm scared. And excited. Very. Argh. I miss AngelTan.. I miss Natasha Weerasekera.. I miss going to school..):

Ohhhhhhhh yaaaaaa!!!
Night in the Museum 2 & Dance Subaru is really nice! You guys should watch it!(:

Past

2009-06-07T01:47:00.005+08:00

Its 1.47 now. ANd i'm not alseep yet. Suprisingly. Ha. Was reading all my past posts.. From the very first one to the recent one.. The memories.. the happy times.. Its frustrating to know that you can never go back to the happy times.. the times you wish it can repeat itself again.. the times you wish you could change and lead to a happy ending.. But still, its just a thought.(: I'm contented with my life now. With everyone i love around. I'm gonna sleep now.

I love you baby.

Goodnight.

Take me away

2009-06-04T21:41:00.004+08:00

Hey. Wanted to upload all of the pictures that i took recently.. But in the end, i'm lazy to. Another day? (: okayyyy.. Today, stayed at home for the whole afternoon. Then went to chua chu kang with Najib. He's crazy. I swear he is. Haha. But still i love him.(: hehe. Went to kobayashi for dinner. Ohhh yaaa. And, i hate Cotton On. Because whenever i'm there i'm like so in love with everything i see! Everything is so freaking cheap. Argh. = Spend money. I'm broke now. Ahhh.

Mummy's listening to that song again..

That song that i've always hear her listening to when she is alone in the room..
Eversince.. everything happen..
That chinese song, with that particular sentence..
Translated to english: "its you that changed.."
She's hurting inside.. And yet, i cant do anything..
it sucks to feel this way..

Tmr, i'll be going to sentosa again.

Then, will be heading to my bestf house to take pictures for her blogshop.
She must be mad to ask me to be her model. Ha.
k, i'm going off now.
Will upload all the photos some other day i guess.

Ciao

Miracles

2009-05-28T21:34:00.003+08:00

There can be miracles, when you believe

Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill

Who knows what miracles you can acheive

When you believe, somehow you will

You know when you believe

Laughssssssss.

2009-05-27T21:44:00.003+08:00

Candid(:

School todayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, was a waste of my time.

Poor Angel has plasters all over her feet because she wore heels for council today..

Wanted to load the pictures of her feet up but my stupid phone cant connect to the com.

Dont know whats wrong with the cable. Argh.

Maybe next time ya. Haha.

Tomorrow! Napha! Omg.

(: i should go have a shower now.

Ciao.

Mandy Moore - Only Hope

2009-05-25T22:20:00.001+08:00

Before, after

2009-05-25T21:31:00.002+08:00

Hello.
I didnt go to school today.

Went to the gym yesterday.
But left early because of my knee.
It was hurting like hell.
Visited a doctor today.
Doctor says my knees are swelling very badly.
And insisted that i should really stop running.
.......
i've heard that all before..
but.. i didnt care..

Doc gave me some pain killlers.
But its not helping; as usual.
Its hurting alot. That i wish to just chop them away.

i hope the pain will go away tomorrow..
I dont want to limp to school..
f.

Friends, mad

2009-05-22T18:28:00.004+08:00

Hello!
Fishing tonight..Hehe.
I'm gonna have a nap now.
(:

I love theseeee girlies
to the maxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzzx!
ciao<3

Ik hou van mijn baby!

2009-05-17T12:21:00.003+08:00

My dearest Nephew(:

Hehe, i'm going to the gym soon.
Just here to say that i've got SEA-MONKEYS!
Hehehehehehe. I have to wait for 12 hours more to put in the eggs.
I'm so excited.(:

kk, i'm gonna have a shower now.
Byebye!

Tummy growling loudly

2009-05-16T16:01:00.003+08:00

I'm hungry really hungry..

Waiting for bby..(:

I just finished watching 200pounds beauty, again.

I watched that movie alomost more than a dozen times and yet it never fail to make me cry.

I love her voice..

bby's reaching soon.

I better go down now.

Bye!

Kelly Clarkson - My life would suck without you

2009-05-16T12:54:00.000+08:00

Love,

2009-05-16T12:18:00.002+08:00

When i'm with you, i'll make every second count.
I love you bby.

Construction in progress!

2009-05-15T22:33:00.000+08:00

Will be back soon(:
I wanna edit codes first.
Tata!
<3

2009-05-14T19:26:00.010+08:00

Secret Unrevealed

My cake is finally done!

And i'm so so so HAPPY.

Hehehehehehe.

Before

..........

AFTER!

GEDAAN! Heeeeeeeee.

I just reached home after running.

I'm gonna shower now..

Bye!

*Natasha Ridd, imissyou..

2009-05-13T23:39:00.005+08:00

Sweeeeeet

Tomorrow will be the last day to finish the cake.

How exciting can it be?...!(:

I cant wait to see the final result of the cake!

Hehehehe.BIG GRIN:D

okay, now i'm super tired.

Editing the codes are making my eyes go gaga.

I'm going to bed soon.

I have to call my pantat first.(:

Goodnight!<3

Changes in me

2009-05-07T23:47:00.005+08:00

I'm the one to blame

I'm sorry

I'm sorry for changing

I'm sorry for disppointing everyone

I'm sorry

My gift is my song.

2009-05-04T20:51:00.008+08:00

Yusri and Me(: Taken last year.

School, boring.
Met up with Pantat for lunch<3
Heard some things from him that made me almost vomit blood.
I have only 3words to say. "what the fuck"(: Ha.
And actually. One more word. Disappointing.
But.What else can i say?Its none of my business anymore.
:D
Tomorrow..............................
Is gonna be another boring day.Pffffft.
I really hope i dont have to go school.
Then, i wouldnt be able to see people.
People that i hope to see but dont hope to see.
Complicating, i know.(:

I'm feeling abit dizzy now. Like again.
I think i'll go rest.

Bye.

Buring into Flames.

2009-05-01T22:47:00.020+08:00

I'm so freaking tired.
Auntie REDS is freaking visiting again.
And i'm having my freaking cramps..Again.
Past 3days, i've been staying till real late to bake.
Waking up superb early to bake.
Yesterday's Chalet, seeing how happy my nephew was,
all the time i've spent on baking for his Birthday was all worth it.
But, i just hoped SOME PEOPLE didnt come..
What's so fucking wrong to be with a malay?
Its my Sister's chalet, she let me bring him,
so you guys dont have the fucking rights to make ANY COMMENTS.
I could really kill someone at that point of time.
f. Its not as if being with a chinese bf/husband is better?!
Look at my dad for an example.
Cheating on my mum. Having an Affair with TWO different woman.
Power Man. Wooooo. HA.
I'm so sick of everyone.
Okay, some. (:

The evening at the chalet was f up.
BUT.
Fishing at night was fun.
Finally, i get to see Tasha after so many days.(:
Mikhail's fart is LOUD.
Najib Bin Abdullah is GL. Hahahahha.
Mark Edelstein is so serious.
And EngJie is so Emo.
:D

Today, i spent the whole day at my sister's house.
Its really nice talking to her about everything i feel and thinks..
Spending time with her is great and listening
to her advices makes me make the right choices.
For this whole week, ive been spending time with her..
At least, i know there is someone whom i can talk to, in the Family.
Thank god that my eldest sister is always there for me.
If not, i think by now, i was already strangled by my second sister.
She is the freaking devil in the family. And nobody likes her.
She always thinks she is right.
I disrespect her. Why? Because she doesnt DESERVE my respect.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
.......................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like screaming my arse off now. ARGH.

Whatever it is,

Syg,
I'm gonna stay with you for as long as we can.
Nothing is gonna break us apart.
Thankyou for coming to the Chalet yesterday.
I love you. And Thankyou very very much; for everything.

(:
i feel so much better now :D

I'm going out with Najib tomorrow..
I wonder where we'll be going.
hmmmm..
I'm gonna call him now.

Bye.

I'm like bird

2009-04-23T22:08:00.002+08:00

School today, was boring as usual.

Stupid old man spolied our mood.Pffft.

Took some pics with Tasha(:

I LOVE YOU honeyyyy.Heeee.

Skipping school tomorrow.

Our whole group is skipping.

We're all going to Donna's house for pizza.

Dearest Pantat is roaring like a lion now.

I better reply him before he eats me up.

Haha.BYE.

i've gave up thinking/wishing that we could ever still be friends;again.

It's.Disappointing.Everytime i see you..

Right Here, Right Now.

2009-04-22T22:32:00.005+08:00

okay, hi people.
I'm bored and i do not know what to say.
I have a urge to delete this blog.
But, i didnt cuz its simply filled with too much memories..
(:

School tomorrow, at 0830.
Photo taking session.
Freaking early..

Bf Yus was in Suria's tv drama just now!
And i guess there will be alot more episodes with him in it.
Haha.Cute larhhh seh.
(:

I'm gonna call baby now.
I have nothing else to say..

Bye.

Complications.

2009-04-16T19:58:00.008+08:00

The elephant i made during practical today(:

Today, was fine but tiring.

Had fun moulding the elephant above,Heee.

Saw Augustine after so long..He is still very irritating.

How dare you cut my queue, CACAT! Haha.

Stop calling me a pang seh kia larhh..

I'm sorry for not going that day.):

Anyway,

accompanied Angel to the library after school..

We use like half of our lifes to walk there..HAHA.

Then, i accompanied Tasha home to change..(:

Baby came to Bukit panjang to fetch me..

And he sent me home.<3

I slept till now.

I just woke up not long ago..Heeeee.

Tasha is out with Papa and her best friend..

I hope she has fun:D

Loveyou babe.

okay,

im gonna look for ideas for my Safari theme cake now.

Ciao.

Run Wild

2009-04-15T20:46:00.015+08:00

I'm disappointed.
Really Disappointed.

With

MYSELF.

sigh

I didnt know i would, drop so much.SO MUCH.

Could only blame myself.For smoking.

AND,F(!) my knee!Seriously.. ARGHHH.

I wanna chop my leg away can?

Today.

Went for a run, after so long..

Alone.

And,

my mind went wild

AGAIN.

Shall not even talk about it.

Because it has to stop.

My body's all sticky now.

I'm gonna to have a shower.

Bye.

Loveliest

2009-04-13T18:11:00.003+08:00

Boo.I'm at my sister's house now.

Above is my favourite photo of my Nephew, Callum..

When he was one month old.Hehe.

I left my phone at home before i came over..

I'm sorry baby.

As i've said, you're temporary single for 3hours.HAHA!

=P<3

oh ya, i have good news.

I got into 2am Dessert Bar for my attachment.(:

I just checked my email..

Tasha, im sorry i cant tell you right away as my phone is at home now..

Love you! seeyou in school tomorrow.

Mummy's cooking dinner now..

I've got to takecare of Callum now.

Hehe.BYE.

Oh, Sweet love

2009-04-12T23:03:00.006+08:00

You are reason that i breath

You are the reason that i still believe

You are my destiny

WHoooooHHOOOO.

SCHOOL STARTS TOMORROW.

i cant wait.

Had dinner at sakae just now.

Goshhhh, I LOVE SOFT SHELL CRABS.

Hehehehehehe.

I wonder when will i see Natasha Ridd again after school starts?

I miss her now.):

prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..

Baby is gonna get me a new pair of shoes next week!

Weeee(:

k, bye

Its amazing how we could just lie in bed all day.

Just sleeping, next to each other..(:

I love you baby.

SAVE ME

2009-04-10T00:04:00.002+08:00

There is a cockroach in my room now!

Someone save me.

Its not a normal cockroach!

Its a FLYING ONE

Ahhhhhhhhh

Hahahahahahaha

I'm bored

And i'm here typing and talking to bby at the same time.

I freaking miss him):

k, bye

Breakdown

2009-04-09T22:36:00.008+08:00

Again,

I'm here to say

Family

Are suppose to be together

Not this complicating

I know

Mine's not the worst

But still

Its heartbreaking

She,

Wants him to die early

He,

Doesnt even bother

Them,

hates him

Me,

one word,

STUCK

I'm no longer just Celia, the youngest one in the house..

I'm a messenger,

someone who you vent anger on when you dont like what you hear from the other side

and a liar taught by She.

pathetic

When is this ever gonna end?

I'm sick and tired of this

Is a happy family so much to ask for?

gosh,

i so want my tigger right now

2009-04-08T00:29:00.002+08:00

Ik moet laten gaan..

A Twist in my Story

2009-04-07T22:58:00.008+08:00

My whispers turns to shouting

The shouting turns to tears

Your tears turns into laughter

And it takes away all our fears

Hello, just finished watching The Last Templer Part 1.
Ahhhhhhh, its sooo nice.
Why don't they just show the whole movie at once?
Darn Mediacrop.Pffft.

Hmmm, i had so much to say before i came to this page.
And when i'm facing with this page my mind is blank.

I'm gonna talk to Najib now.
Tata.
XOXO

Erase my memory; Now.

2009-04-07T19:21:00.004+08:00

Just came back from running.

bye, will update later.(:

ps : i miss this hair.):

Flightless Bird, American Mouth

2009-04-07T00:18:00.004+08:00

Ps: She's wearing a bikini.(: Haha.

Boo! I'm here blogging.
My eyes are closing..But still, i wanna blog first:D
Went to dover today..Then, went to queensway to play acrade.
Reached home at 10?
Bathed and watched American's next top model.(:

Today, my heart ache when i saw her cry..
To think that she has suffered so much with him,
And yet he does this to her..
I really hope she'll be alright..):

Tasha, please know that i'll always be there for you no matter what..Like how you did for me..Love you Hun, many many XOXO(:

BOYS/man. SOME, are real heartless.
Very word that they said may just mean N.O.T.H.I.N.G.
Words are said, for the sake of fun, laughter, peace and joy. Ha.
Bullshiters.Pffft.

k, i shall end here.
IloveyouNAJIB!hehe.

I'm gonna call you now,pantat.(:

Bye.

Verras de mensen!

2009-04-04T14:40:00.003+08:00

Hellloooo People..
I'm so freaking happy now.
Ask me why ask me why?
BECAUSE, NATASHA RIDD IS BACK.
Hehehehehehehe!
She's back till 19th of april.
She's having two weeks holidays now..
:D

Slept over at my uncle's house last night.
Just came home to get my clothes for tonight and tomorrow.
I'm going sentosa tomorrow!Weehehehe.
But, i'm already having sun burn now.
Due to standing in the hot sun while fishing at yishun with Baby and his friends ytd.
Goshh, its painful.
I hope it doesnt rain tomorrow.
Cuz, I still wanna sun tann.Hehehehe.

Natasha.R is at my house with me now.
She fell asleep..So here i am blogging.
Waiting for my brother in law to come at fetch us.
(:

Hmmmm..
Baby bby, i miss you.):

okay, shall end here.
Ciao.

I will Survive.

2009-04-02T18:18:00.006+08:00

Okay, so i stayed at home today.
Spent my whole day sleeping and playing the sims after baby left in the afternoon.
Goshh, i'm seriously bored.
Not meeting Bestf tomorrow too.
Sigh, so i guess i'll stay at home also.
Saturday i will definately wanna go sentosa..
No matter what.
Because i'm getting fairer and fairer..):
Fishing with the guys and Tasha was funnnnn.
I wanna go againnnnn.
Hehe, but i hope Bf was there that day.
Mikhail was bad to prank her because it was april fool's day.
Haha.Luckily Bf wasnt that dumb.
Awwww.I miss her.
One more week till school reopens..
I cant wait to go school..
(:
i'm gonna look for ideas for my cake now.

Bye.

So much to Question.

2009-03-30T22:28:00.009+08:00

My interview went well.
And i really hope that i will get in.
4girls went for the interview & only 1could get through.
Good luck to me.(:

Its the fourth day after the chalet..
But i still feel so empty every morning i wake up.
I miss seeing everyone's faces once i open my eyes.
Najib, Tasha, Angel, Mikhail, Mark, Eng jie &Shoman..):
Most importantly, i miss staring at Najib's face when he is asleep..
Hearing him snore&pressing his nose everytime his snoring gets louder..
Haha. Its really fun staying with those ppl.
I hope we're still staying there..
Nvm, there will still be one more during december i guess.
5days4nights! Weeeeeeee~
Heheheheheeeeee.

I can't wait for attachment..
If i were to get into 2amdessertbar, i would be so happy!
Please pray hard that i'll get in there..

Going fishing tomorrow..
Staying at home on wednesday i guess..
Meeting Lovely Scandal on Thursday..
Meeting Bestf on friday!
Hehehehe.I miss themmmm.

I'm gonna go play games now.
Babye.

Love's like a Runway

2009-03-29T12:50:00.008+08:00

Again, I'm bored.Rotting at home.
Baby hasn't woke up yet.
He reached home at 4plus this morning.Tsk.
I'm having interview tomorrow.At 2amdessertbar.
I doubt that i will get through.But i hope i do.(:
Mummy is going to the salon later..
I think i'll be following her.
I'm seriously bored now.
I don't think anyone visits my blog now.
Since i don't blog often and don't reply to tags often too.
Haha. Sorry people, for not replying to tags.
I'm seriously lazy to reply.
kk, i'll reply now.

Tags reply:
Daphane - Hello!
Shanny! - Daughter! Yes yes, its a heart beside your name! I misss youuuuu.):
Sera - Hahahahaha. Who say i don't miss you.. We go sentosa next week k?:D
Bp - LEE BOON PENGGGG! HELLOOO, idiot.(:

k, done.

AUGUSTINE,MARCUS,SERA! i wanna go out with you guys.):
Can we meet pleaseeeeeeeee...

Hehheh.
I'm gonna end here.

poof.

Peaceful Soul.

2009-03-28T23:17:00.007+08:00

280309-
I had fun today.
Thankyou for making me laugh so hard baa-byyyy.

Currently Listening to:
Its Not Over - Secondhand Serenade

Chalet, was way fun.
But i regret, not taking care of myself.
And not being able to enjoy the fullest.
Till now, i'm still sick.
My sore throat is killing me.
Body temperature increasing and decreasing.

Thankyou Bf for taking care of me during the chalet.
Thankyou for massaging my head and feeding me food.
I'm really touched.
Really.Thankyou.

And Najib, Thankyou for cabbing down to 7-11 in the middle of the night just to buy panadol for me. Thankyou for staying up at night to takecare of me.

And thankyou for patting me to sleep too.
Iloveyou dearest Pantat.(:

And to everyone at the chalet,

i'm sorry for disturbing you guys at night.

Especially Mikhail,

sorry to disturb you and Angel's beauty sleep.
And thankyou too,

Mikhail aka First aider aka Angel Tan's dearest Darling. HAHA.

Now.
Alone, in this room
Lots of thoughts in my head
Past, Present & Future
Random questions...
Why did i chose this?
Why did i made that decision then?
How far would we go if i waited?
What will my future be like choosing this course?
Why did i not try to safe myself from getting hurt so bad?
Why do i not remember a single thing about my childhood?
What am i trying to run away from?
Why did my family situation became this bad?
What do i want?
What do i want?
What do i want?
What do i want?
What do i want?
What do i want?
What do i want?
What do i want??????
With this question, my head is empty.
What exactly do i want?
I want something that is impossible.
Something i know i won't be happy even if i have it.
Something that only i know.
Its unfair, Life is unfair.
No.Why the hell am i even thinking of it?,now?
I shouldn't be.

I'm happy now.
I swear i am.
Happier then ever.

Really.

Fast forward the time, pleasee.

2009-03-22T13:33:00.012+08:00

Dear Readers, I'M.ROTTING.AT.HOME. I'm so bored.

I have to stay at home today.
Mummy doesn't want me to go out.
And i have to pack my bag too.
I'm sorry bf.
Thankyou for helping us buy the face mask!
Seeeyouuuuu tomorrow Angel Tan Peiwen!<3

Randomly, i miss Loi Huishan.
I miss her shouting Bambang in school whenever she sees me.
Now, only Augustine calls me that, Sometimes.
I miss being her seating partner in secondary school.
I miss going to school with her in ITE.
Ahhhh, okay, i'll stop whinning.
(:

Going to Tasha's house early tomorrow.
Not sure what time yet.
I should go pack my bag now.
Takecare people.
Anything just msg me.
I will reply. *grin*
Hehe.

Najib, i miss you!..
Ciao.
:D

The sun ain't bright if not for the sky, the moon doesn't shine without the stars around it. No cord or cable can draw so forcibly, or bind so fast, as love can do with a single thread. ........

Its a question with no answer.

2009-03-21T23:36:00.002+08:00

Heeellloooo! I Love this picture.

Hehe. My sore throat is much better..(:

BUT i'm having cough now.

Gosh, I feel so blessed-.-' know why?

I've had fever on monday and tuesday.

Sore throat from sunday till now.

And. Cough today.

I've been sick for this whole week!

Luckyyyy me.

Okay, i will only recover if i could stop myself from drinking and eating things that will make me even more sick.

Hahahahha. But, i cant.

Duhhhhh.

Tomorrow, we girls are going jurong point to buy face mask for us to bring to the chalet.

And i'll go home straight after that to pack my bag.

I'm gonna try to sneak out of the house tomorrow night and stay at Tasha's house, since there wouldnt be anyone at home. Hehe.

Cough cough, go away pleaseee..

I still wanna drink cold water.):

I'm talking to Mr Najib bin Abdullah on the phone now.

And he is asking me to faster faster faster faster faster faster faster faster faster faster faster faster.. And now he is saying Najib Najib Najib Najib Najib Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby..

....

......

...........

Gila.

Kk, i shall end here.

Byebye.

U bent de appel in mijn ogen te.

2009-03-21T11:03:00.007+08:00

Goodmoring people. Im so bored now.
My throat still hurts like crazy.
Baby's coming over later, i think. We're meeting Tasha and Mark at imm's GIANT to buy bbq stuffs. There are a few more things to buy. Hehe, two more days.(:
CHALETTTTTT!
I have to do alot of things before leaving house today.

Wash clothes, keep the room clean, fold my clothes and hang my clothes.
Sooooooo..
I better get started now.
(:

Babye.

i pray, for you to be happy everyday.

i pray, one day we could be able to talk again,

like how we use to.

Takecare.

Sleepyhead.

2009-03-21T00:56:00.003+08:00

I've just done editing the codes.
And i'm so sleepy.
Baby went out with his friend.
That idiot wants me to type out his name BIG BIG.
So now, i'm gonna type out his name BIG BIG.

NAJIB!

you suck.

Hahahahaha!

k, i'm tired.
I wanna go sleep already.
My dearest ah kua Najib, go home early pleaseee.
(: <33333

Goodnightss everyone.
Hehe.

2009-03-20T21:31:00.002+08:00

The way i love you

My blog is covered with dust.
Im sooo lazy recently.
Holidays are here.
Chalet next week.
4days3nights(:

I wanna go sun tanning!
Im turning fairer.):

Last few days of school was fun.
We learnt how to make flowers, figurings with fondant.
But i missed 2lessons, because i wasnt feeling well then.

The doll figuring i did. Heeee.

Just came back home from Tasha's house.
Went to buy the bbq food for the chalet.

I'm still having sore throat.
I hope it will heal before monday.
Chalet chalet chalet!!
I cant wait.

Andddddddddddddddddddddd!!
People people, i wanna go suntanning!
Anyone free?
I'll be back on the 26th of march.
Hehe.

Okayyy, i shall end here now.
Baby's waiting for my call.(:

Ohyeahh, to Marcus, Augustine and Sera:
That guy in that picture, is my baby.
His name is Najib.
We'll meet up soon k guys?
Loveessssssssssssss(:

Hehe, babye.

I know, i deserve better after all. Iloveyou.

2009-03-18T11:35:00.000+08:00

Ik hou van jou, baby.
(:

2009-03-11T23:16:00.004+08:00

Unexpected

I'm stuck.

Lots of stuffs running through my head now.

I didnt thought that they wouldnt accept a malay.

What's so wrong about it?

And what kind of problems would there be?

Since i've decided to be with him,

i'm willing to bare whatever problems there are ahead.

They cant force us to be apart.

I will never us go.

I will Fight;

for US.

Baby, im sorry.

2009-03-09T22:46:00.003+08:00

Stuck.

I pray, we'll stay strong together.

I pray, nothing else goes wrong.

I know, we will be able to get through this.

Cuz, i believe in you.

Bby, ilu.

2009-03-08T10:16:00.003+08:00

LOVE LOCKDOWN.

Im sorry for not updating recently.
I'm just too lazy.
PEE HEE HEE.

Anyway, I love my life now.

Im so much happier.
Really really very happyyyyyyyy.
So happy that i feel that i will die of laughing too much one day.

Hahahahahaha!

Baby is on the way to my house now.
Then, we're going out.
:D

k, i have to go bath now.
Byyeeeeeee.

ilu bby
(:

2009-02-27T10:00:00.000+08:00

And then a hero comes along

With the strength to carry on

And you cast your fears aside

And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone

Look inside you and be strong

And you'll finally see the truth

That a hero lies in you

2009-02-27T09:56:00.004+08:00

Shinee

God, they're hotttttt.(:

2009-02-22T15:05:00.003+08:00

Agape.

Hallo mensen!
I'm bored. Seriously bored.
Its so cold. Im sneezing like a crazy woman.
Fetching Mummy from work later.
(: I'm meeting Terrance to go school together tmr.
My girls doesnt have to go school.
They're in a different group.):

K, im going to think of my decorations for my plating tmr.
Ciao.

2009-02-18T22:34:00.005+08:00

Unbeautiful.

(:

I Love myself today.
I miss myself like this.
Bubbly and Crazy.
Laughing untill my tummy hurts.
Hehe.
Kuku, eh eh kau.
Hahahahahahaha!:D

Pe today was cancelled due to January intakes having NAFA.
Played abit of badminton.
Stupid Bf went pee pu pee pu!
Hahahaha.

After pe was theory.
Oral presentation for our portfolio.
Today was Tasha's presentation first.
It was good.
Though abit seductive. Haha!
Tmr, its mine and Bf's turn.
OMG, IM SO F-ING SCRAED.
I hope i wont screw up my marks.
GOSHHHH. Im gonna pee.(:
k, im not.

Alright, i should end here.
Monster waiting for me.(:
I should go before he start shouting kuku.
:D

Ba-ik! Hehe.
Ciao.

Wake up wake up wake up, Cuz im only dreaming.

2009-02-17T22:53:00.006+08:00

Ik ben het enige bedrijf terug.

My nephew, Baby Callum.(:

School, was boring.

Practical practical practical.

Ahhhh, im going crazy.

Finally, its pe tmr.

Whooooooohoooo. Hahaha.

I'm so high today.

Really happyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Siah Zhenquan, I'm not a siao kia okay.

Sentosa on sunday?

Should i go?

hmmmm, i shall see.

Hehe.

I'm trying my best to ignore.

I dont want this to destroy our sistership.

Please forgive me for being like this everytime.

Its hard to not care. I'm sorry. Really sorry.

Let me be.

PE PE PE!

I cantttttt waitttttt.

Ciao.

Finally. After 3months.(:

2009-02-15T13:14:00.007+08:00

There's nothing i could say or do.

Flower from Dearest Sera.

Thankyou so much for coming to school just to give me this babe.

I loveeee you. Hehe.

And last long with Ken.(:

Worked ytd.

After work, went to bugis to meet up with Najib, Tasha, Mark, Engjie, Jeremy and Mikhail.

Walked to Arab street and Shisha-ed. Hehehehehehe.

Cabbed home at 2am.

And the others continue lepak-ing there.

I had fun.(: Haha.

At least, it made my mind clear off everything ytd.

Untill, on my way home, alone..

My mind went wild again.

Suppose to work today.

But, im having fever.

So, cant work.

Going out for dinner with family later.

Should go rest now.

Bye.

If only you still rmb the thing you said we should be,

on valentine's day this year.

How do you feel?

2009-02-11T22:50:00.007+08:00

Love is not Just a game.

Among three of us, I have the most "old fashion" thinking.

They knows that. And they respect my thinkings.

I know, its not MY thing. I have no rights to get pissed or whatever.

I know you do not understand. But, you should know. You should know why.

You know me. Dont you? You do right?

Doing things before you guys are even together..

Tell me, what will ppl think? You might not care. Or you do not care.

But i do. Because i care for you.

I dont want ppl to think..that you're "cheap", easy to get.

And most importantly, i dont want you to get hurt.

And hearing "Its My thing" from you. It hit me so bad. This is the first time in my life that i've cried for a friend; for you. Because at that point of time, i felt that you do not care. At all. Even no matter how much you said you do last time, i dont feel it. At all. Now.

When you had problems with him.. You called me. And i was there. I was soooo pissed with her. You know that. Why was i? I could have not care right? Since you said it your thing. But i was. Because why? I care. I dont want her to scold you for nothing. And now, you are happy with him, believing whatever he says, covering one eye for everything and you say that its your thing. Your thing.

I do not want to always be the bad guy.

Always being the last one to know about your relationship.

I know i've not been supporting you.

But, the reason is always the same.

Its just too fast.

Yes, i dont mind you lovey lovey together, being crazy in love with him.

But not to the extend of acting exactly like a couple.

Whats the difference?

Where's the promise that you made? To us..

After reading this sentence, i know you might just roll your eyes.

But i have to go on..

You said you do not want to let this go so easily.

But, being in contact, meeting up, isnt that enough?

I know he is not those kind that would mind to wait.

I know he would still wait for you even if both of you are not like this now, holding hands or kissing.. So, why?

If nothing were to happen between both you in the future..

Wouldnt you be hurt? More hurt then how am i now?

Because you're like "together" without the status.

I dont want you to get hurt. Again.

For what you think now, im unreasonable, im being pissed for something that i should be happy for, if i was really your friend. But, its just not me. I care. Thats why i dont wish you to have a bad reputation or impression in other ppl's eyes. I thought being pissed, you would care and stop. As in, at least wake up abit. For the first time, it didnt. Second time, it didnt too. And now, its officially obviously NO USE.

You know i wouldnt be able to not talk to you.

No matter what after awhile i will still talk to you.

But i know you wont if i dont.

Because i guess, you dont care.

I'm sad, frustrated, disappointed.

Im all the words that can describe someone who is down.

Maybe i should stop. Stop feeling anything. I'll let you guys be. I'll shut up. Its not my problem. So, i wont care. If anything were to happen, i wont care to. I know i wont be able to not care. But i will try to. T, Slap me real hard on my face if i do. k? Thankyou.

I will act/be normal as usual.

I will still want to do crazy things with her.

But, i will not care anymore.

Believe it or not. Its tiring.

This will be the last time im breaking down for this.

No more.

Time for me to stop typing.

There is so much more to say.

Things that i cant say right to your face.

Its just so difficult.

My sis wants to use the com.

I'll stop.

Goodnight.

2009-02-10T22:20:00.001+08:00

Secret Valentine.

Chocolate piping.(:

Sera left school last year.

Now, Huishan is leaving too.):

I really dont want her to go.

But, i wont ever be able to change her decision.

I wont be able to go school with her anymore.

4more months.

And we're going for attachment.

I cant wait.

I'll pray hard to get into the chocolate department.

But, i know. Its not possible.

But still, i'll try my best to.

I'm working on Saturday and Sunday.

Weeeeheeee.

I miss Mei Jing.(:

Pe tmr.

Running running and more running.

I hope my knee cooperates.

My sister's gonna use the com now.

Ciao.

2009-02-09T21:56:00.004+08:00

Run Baby Run.

School was okay.

Randomly,
I wonder..
Why do human's attitude change because of the opposite sex?
Hmmmm.. No one knows what i'm talking about?
Its okay, its good enough for me to understand.(:

Well, its Disappointing when Human does that.
But what can we do?
"Shhhhhhhhhh."
:X

My kneeeee...
Its hurting again.
But, i cant do anything other then Whining in pain. :(
I miss my girls.
I want to see them.

I think i should go bath now.
There is a monster shouting at me to go bath.
The monster is named N.
Hahhahaa. You should know who you are.
Kuku, stop rolling pleaseeeee.

kk, i go bath Already.
Ciao.

Tyra Banks, Ashley Tisdale, Rui En, Michelle Chong, Michelle Chia.....

I remember everything still.):

2009-02-05T22:50:00.000+08:00

There's gotta be more to life.

Arggghhhh.

Wanted to upload photos.

But, i cant.

Something wrong with my blogger today.

Today, I am sooo hyper.

I think its because i went running in the morning.(:

Went to dover after prac.

Had dinner there.

Wanted to upload photos taken by Angel's dearest Mikhail.

Butttt. Like i said, i cant.

pfffffffttt. Stupidddddddd.

"I think he doesnt care." says T.

Because..i know,he didnt even look up.

Im trying so hard to ignore.

But, its just not possible now.

You have no idea how much its hurting inside.

No idea.

Tasha W. i miss you so badly now.):

Bye.

2009-02-04T12:30:00.000+08:00

Booooom, Again.

Dessert plating Practical test'08

Just finish writing my one of my IA hotel write up.

-Shangri-La Hotel(done)

-Naumi Hotel?

I'm not sure for the second one yet.):

I want to find the one and particular hotel that i can

definately get into the Chocolate department.

I want to learn more about Chocolates.

I want to get really good with Chocolate making.

Tempering, Melting, Dipping,

Coating, Moulding,decorating....

Whatever it is.

As long as it has something to do with Chocolate.

Because, i want to be a Chocolatier SO BADLY.

Im hafta sleep now.

Gotta wake up early for pe tmr.

Good nights.

Ciao.

2009-02-01T16:38:00.004+08:00

Bon Voyage.

My cousin just left.

Just 40 mins ago.

And i miss Natasha Ridd already.

I'm at my sis house now.

We're having steamboat tonight.

School tmr.

I cant wait to see my girls.

Had a fun day at sentosa ytd.

Bought my cousin along.

She got to meet my friends.

And she likes all of them.

She thinks their really nice.

I think so too:D

Loveyou ladies.

+my cousin too.

Ciao.

2009-01-29T23:12:00.002+08:00

Girl meets boy.

School was okay.

Went home after school to change.

Spent some time at dover then went to Tasha's house.

Sat under her block and talked for 1hour plus.

Its nice just siting down to talk.(:

To you,

if you were to see this someday,

I really hope that we'll start talking,again.

I hope that we can still be friends..

Like you said we would, before..

Seeyou ard in school.

im gonna sleep now.

Nights.

2009-01-28T22:31:00.007+08:00

Past and Present.

Ik mis je.
Ik mis met je gepraat te hebben over de telefoon.
Ik mis je stem horen.
Wanner zullen we ooit weer praten?
:(

If only time to turn back to November 2008.
To that particular period of time..
If only..

Im still holding on.

&I dont know why either.

2009-01-27T22:06:00.003+08:00

Als alleen de liefde was gemakkelijker.

Back home.

Counted my angbaos.

And im contented.(:

All the snackings and cold drinks are making me sick.

This year, there wasnt anyone to stop me from eating too much sweets and drinking too much cold drinks. So.. yeah.

I hope my asthma doesnt come back.

Tomorrow, school.

Having test too.

Ik heb geen studie nog!

Omg, Im so dead.
I think i should study now.

Again, im alone at home.

Nights everyone, ciao.

2009-01-26T00:17:00.010+08:00

Life.

Reunion dinner.

Was suppose to be a happy thing.

But this year it was different.

It became so emotional.

Too emotional to handle.

Even now when im typing this out, tears are still flowing.

For 2years, no one ever talked about it.

Untill today...

I'm strong.

We're strong.

3of us are.

I have a strong mind.

We've a strong mind.

3of us do.

They think so.

But do we really think so?

No one wants this to happen.

No one wished this would happen.

Especially the one and only, the one who suffered so much all this time,

the one who could have been dead just to give birth to a premature me.

She's upset/depressed more than anyone else.

And it hurts just to see her like this.

But still, im being rebellious, towards her.

I made them all dissapointed.

Doing things i shouldnt do.

I'm their biggest worry now.

Because there's no one there to guide me.

They think that i'll go astray if this continues.

And i know, i will.

Because there is Really no one there to guide me along.

Eversince all this started.

I would just kill myself now.

But i know it will not help.

It'll just make things even worst.

They want me to go over to hongkong to live with them during the holidays.

Every holiday.

They want me to stay over at bukit panjang on the weekdays.

Everyday.

Should i?

If i do, he'll be alone.

He'll Really have no one to talk to.

I'm suppose to hate him.

He's the cause of everything.

He made us break apart.

But i just Cant do it.

I CANT hate him.

I'm gonna stay over at my uncle's place tmr night.

I wanna talk to Tasha R.

She's going back next sunday.

So, i gotta spend time with her before she goes back.

I have to sleep now.

My eyes are so swollen.

Again, Happy Chinese New Year to everyone.

Nights.

2009-01-24T23:30:00.002+08:00

My mind is gone, im spinning around.

Natasha Ridd is back!

TASHA IS BACK
TASHA IS BACK
TASHA IS BACK

TASHA IS BACK
TASHA IS BACK!

Hehehehehehe.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!

CIAO.

2009-01-24T01:13:00.003+08:00

She wants to look at him.
But she doesnt want him to know,
Know that she's noticing his Every move.
So, she, just tries her best to peep,
whenever she could,
whenever she had the chance to,
Whenever, he is not noticing.
And just by doing that,
She'll be contented.
Very contented.

She's insane.
She knows, she knows.

But what else could She do?

"Whatever makes You happy."

2009-01-23T23:30:00.010+08:00

I really loved you.

1. Who's the person who tagged you?

SHANNY!(:

2. Relationship between you and him/her?

My les partner. HAHA.

3. 5 impressions of him/her?

Sweet, nice, crazy, cute, strong

4. If he/she become your enemy, you will?

She will never be.

5. What will you say to the person you like very much?

I love you? If only i could, then.

6. A characteristic I like about myself?

Crazy.

7. A characteristic I hate about myself?

Too crazy sometimes.

8. For the person whom you hate,you say?

Disgusting.

9. What do people feel about you?

No idea.

10. Your crush?

11. Most ideal person you wanna be?

Dont know?

12. Pass this to 10 people:

1. Zhenquan

2. Sera

3. Suhui

4. Tasha

5. Angel

6. Yusri

7. Lydia

8. Shanny

9. Joey

10. Marcus

13. If 5 & 7 were together?

Hell no. Haha.

14. Who does 5 like?

Ahem ahem. HAHA. the big M.

15. What colour does 9 like?

erm, i dont know.

16. Say something to 8

HELLO! Seeyou on wednesday!:D

17. Who is 2?

SERA BAN.<3

18. Talk about 3.

My best friend for life.(:

19. Who is 10's Best friend?

Joey?(:

20. Who's the sexiest among all 10?

szq. Hahahaha. omfg.

21. What colour does 4 like?

Too many.

22. Is 4 single?

Nopeeeeee.

23. Your relationship with 1?

Bestfriends.

24. Are 5 & 6 Best Friend?

Good friends.(:

25. 9's Surname?

Chia(:

26. 7's Nickname?

I have no idea. heee.

27. Say something to 4.

I LOVEE you.

28. Say something to help 10?

Stay happy always.

29. Who does 1 admire?

Secret.

30. Where does 1 live?

Somewhere in Singapore.(:

31. Among 10 of them who do you like?

EVERYONE.

32. Say something to 6 when you see him/her.

HELLLLOOOO!

33. 10’s spouse.

No one?

k, done.

Haha.

Went out with Zhiwen ytd.

Enjoyed myslef.(:

Thanks for the dinner.

And takecare of your fractured thumb.

Seeyou next friday.

<3(:

I'm gonna go sleep now.

Nights ppl.

Ciao.

2009-01-19T21:36:00.005+08:00

And now everytime i tried to walk away,

something there reminds me i should stay..

I know i should be strong.

But boy, it feels so wrong.

Moving on without you..

Its so much easier said than done.

I'm paraniod.

I just cant stop thinking.

2009-01-18T22:51:00.004+08:00

セシリアシャーミス.

Best.

Just reach home from work.

Tmr, practical(!).

I cant wait to go school!(:

I'm gonna bath now.

Ciao.

The feeling is not fading away.

ik mis je, Alot; really.

2009-01-18T09:59:00.004+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SZQ!

Happy birthday to you.

Hope you enjoyed yourslef ytd.

Are you still in the wtf mood?

Hahahahahaha.

Thanks for being there for me always.(:

I'm gonna get ready for work now.

Practical tmr!:D

I'll reply to my tags soon ya.

Haha. Bye!

2009-01-17T18:25:00.003+08:00

Its hard to walk away.

Finally, editings are done; again.

And i love it.

Damn, i hate baking at home.

Something always go wrong.

Plus, my cramps are killing me.

Anyway, I really hope that ass likes the cake.

With his favourite strawbeeeerrrriiiessss.

I'm leaving house soon.

Let's pray hard nothing happens to the cake on the way.

Haha.

Ciao.

2009-01-14T22:58:00.003+08:00

The world, slows down, but my heart beats fast right now.

Future Pastry Chefs.(:

Guys like them, if only they could commit.

Then, there will be such things as happy ever after.

If only there was only one girl, Me, in this world.

When once, you said i love you.

Then, you wouldnt be able to look at other flowers,

there wouldnt be an excuse that you are scared you wont be able to commit,

scared that you'll hurt me or whatever too.

Or just leaving without saying anything when you promised we will still talk.

If only.. If only i was the only girl.

But sadly, that would be only in my dreams.

You have no idea.

No idea, how it feels.

2009-01-13T21:36:00.005+08:00

It ended when it was just about to start.

I'm alone at home. Again. And i'm BORED. AGAIN. Today, practical was okay. Untill that over-aged man started his nonsense. It was crazy. Plus, i had a really bad headache. That makes it even more crazier. Vomited, and i felt so much better. After prac, Mikhail, Najib, Mark, Engjie, Timothy came to meet us ladies. Had dinner at market. Lepak ahwile under block. And went home. I swear one day i will strangle Mikhail and Najib. Haha.

Tmr, PE, theory lesson then going Far east. Thursday, practical. Friday, theory. Saturday, working? SUNDAY! IS SIAH ZHENQUAN'S BIRHTHDAY! HAHAHAHA. OMG OMG. Zq birthday Zq birthday Zq birthday Zq birthday Zq birthday Zq birthday Zq birthday!(: Z,A,K, WHEREEEEEEEE AREEE WEEEEEEE GOINGGGGGGGGG? heeeee. Mind me, im crazy. I just Love that crazzzzzzzzy/irritatingggg besssstest friend/brother of mine. Heh.

k, done blogging done crapping.

Bye.