Trust the voice within

i remember..
the first day i saw him in school..
i felt that he was so cute.
&i started to admire him.
as time goes by,
i got to know that my classmate knew him from secondary school.
&slowly i get to know about him more.
but still, we didnt know each other..
So, whenever i see my classmates talking to him i would be so jealous..
because they get to know him first.
&i could only sit there &watch them talk.
Slowly.. i hear bad things about him & istart to have a bad impression on him.
&didnt really admire him anymore..
untill one day, he talked to me.
he asked me if i went to heeren the other day..
i was shocked &i even asked if he was talking to me.
he said ya &i just kept laughing.
i remembered, i was so high that day:D
then on feb, my classmate had a boyfriend from his class.
after some time, i get to know that someone from his class wants my number.
i didnt get to know who because my classmate's bf promised that he wouldnt say..
so, me &my friends started to make wlid guesses.
&slowly forced him to tell me who he was..
he gave up &told us who that guy was.
i was so shocked. & i just kept saying wth.
he was the one that i admired since jan!
i was so stun &i couldnt believe it was him at all.
On the same day, he msged me after i decided to give him my number.
We msged everyday.. &i get to know him more..
but his past that ppl had told me.. made didnt believe him at all.
even when he said he is willing to change for me..
but slowly.. i started to have feelings for him.
i cried whenever ppl tell me about his past because,
i was really scared that he was just playing with my feelings.
as time goes by.. i believed him.. & i decided to accpect him.
on the 9th of march, we are together.
after the first month, i was deeply in love with him.
my family &his family started to know about us.
we were very happy together.
no matter what ppl say about the height problem.
we even thought of getting married &the names for our children.
i know it is dumb. but to us, it was very sweet.
i really loved him alot.
but i just dunno why sometimes i will doubt him.
sometimes, i didnt really believe that he loves me.
untill one day, one of his classmates told me..
that he really loves me alot. &he is really trying to be a prefect boyfriend for me.
after waht he told me, i was so touched. & i felt so gulity for always doubting him.
so i really believed him. &i realised it makes me feel so much better.
better then always doubting him.
the sweet talks, the places we went &the funny things we did together..
i will never ever forget & i really think that this will last.
untill 4days ago, he told me we should stop here.
i was shock &i called him.
he said that he had been chosen for singapore's soccer team.
&will be having training everyday. so, he dont have time to call &go out with me.
he said, we just stop for awhile, untill his tournament is over.
i asked him when &he said next year jan.
he asked if i could wait &i said i will.. because i know i will.
but the thing that i do not understand is how come things changed so fast?
after one night &he started to avoid me.
to others, him avoiding me is trying to help me not think of him anymore.
but to me, its hurts alot.
i relyed on him for the past 3months.
&suddenly you want me to not call him of think of him?
i cant do it.. the only thing i could do is tear.
knowing that him&krystal are best friends again is threatening to me.
but i thank her because at least i know she would be there to takecare of him.
so i sincerely thank her. i wish as time goes by.. we will start to talk again.
&stupidly, i wish that he would still call me once in awhile.
&msg me when he gets a new phone.
i wish him all the best for his tournaments.
&may our love for each other stay till next year..we'll see.
its hard to let go.. but i know i have to.
090308-210608.

to ppl that didnt know anything untill now,
im sorry for not telling you guys.
especailly suhui. i didnt know how to say..
&i know i would cry alot if i tell you guys.
so, im sorry..

&to those who knew,
i thank all of you being my side.
i thank all of you for your care &love.
i sinecerely thank all of you.