Trust the voice within

Life.

Reunion dinner.

Was suppose to be a happy thing.

But this year it was different.

It became so emotional.

Too emotional to handle.

Even now when im typing this out, tears are still flowing.

For 2years, no one ever talked about it.

Untill today...

I'm strong.

We're strong.

3of us are.

I have a strong mind.

We've a strong mind.

3of us do.

They think so.

But do we really think so?

No one wants this to happen.

No one wished this would happen.

Especially the one and only, the one who suffered so much all this time,

the one who could have been dead just to give birth to a premature me.

She's upset/depressed more than anyone else.

And it hurts just to see her like this.

But still, im being rebellious, towards her.

I made them all dissapointed.

Doing things i shouldnt do.

I'm their biggest worry now.

Because there's no one there to guide me.

They think that i'll go astray if this continues.

And i know, i will.

Because there is Really no one there to guide me along.

Eversince all this started.

I would just kill myself now.

But i know it will not help.

It'll just make things even worst.

They want me to go over to hongkong to live with them during the holidays.

Every holiday.

They want me to stay over at bukit panjang on the weekdays.

Everyday.

Should i?

If i do, he'll be alone.

He'll Really have no one to talk to.

I'm suppose to hate him.

He's the cause of everything.

He made us break apart.

But i just Cant do it.

I CANT hate him.

I'm gonna stay over at my uncle's place tmr night.

I wanna talk to Tasha R.

She's going back next sunday.

So, i gotta spend time with her before she goes back.

I have to sleep now.

My eyes are so swollen.

Again, Happy Chinese New Year to everyone.

Nights.